go mhelai, go!!!

after my recent defeat, i thank GOD for giving me enough reasons to smile each day. in the past three years, i thought i can't get over things again. i closed myself for any possibilities. building walls around me for the fear of history to repeat itself. i was trapped for years. i've lost myself in the middle of loving someone who's never worthy. leaving myself nothing but anxieties. and i was blinded with all these worries.

looking back to printed memories surprises me now. i feel no bitterness at all. for i know it doesn't make sense anyway. i've had enough, i guess. now is the time to give myself some time off and some respect i am due of. and maybe, a time to let go.

it's my choice now to be happy! set aside all my worries and live again. let things happen the way it is meant to be. and if the same thing happens again, i will be strong enough to get the better, if not the best, of.

some realizations 'bout life

working at my early 20's was never easy for me. it's like jumping from the first step to the middle of the stairway. at first i am depressed. thinking about how lucky my other friends are to take much joy spending time in school. it was really fulfilling. but then, i have to bite the bullet. little pleasures each day brings help me realize things on its profound purpose. i've learn the essence of satisfaction you get from working hard for a cause in exchange to the pleasure you get from other things. the feeling is much like marching in the aisle with the diploma epitomizing the long years of hard work. incentives coming out in bunches makes me feel blessed. experiences are to teach and to foster our being to the next level. there is no such method to follow. whether you start from the middle doesn't make any difference. when we are of one goal to go.

i'm happy with who and where i am now. but i still require myself to discover little surprises in life for we are far from the end yet.

God bless my journey!